palest peron in the golden state here

Yes, that happens to be me. I never thought i was this vampiresque until now - at least my fourth-grade dreams have sorta come true (when at the tender and easily influencable age of nine, I read a few too many Anne Rice books and convinced myself I could be a vampire). All of these floridians make me feel ghostly. After three days in the confinement of our family Ford Focus, I have arrived an hour or so south of Tampa. I am still in shock though, the weather is warm and there is no snow or three foot icicles hanging from roof overhangs. I can't wait to go swimming!!!1 Unfortunatly, I have no friends or people my age to socialize with. Everyone on this street is 16-18 and I just don't fit in with the bikinitop-wearing girls and football playing guys. Well, at least I have msn. Merry Christmas and all that stuff! sarah

I can hear the bells

and no, not wedding ones-the Christmas ones. Well today is luckily a snowday, yet I happen to have nothing to do other than homework. I made up a boyfriend so someone would leave me alone but now it's this big mess- uh-oh! Anyways, I should probably catch up on math or geography- oh, the options are endless! sarah

Diary of Sarah (get the joke, from BB's Diary of Jane)

I happen to be deeply in love with Breaking Benjamin, my favourites are I don't know, almost all I've heard of them. Also, I fear I migh have a permanent case of the sniffles-shucks. Since my personal issues have left me missing school, my test will be moved to a different day, so all is mostly well. I never knew friends could be this supportive. Before, I had a friend who would say ''Sarah, yesterday was the day when you cried and felt bad, no more of this. Yesterday was the day for that, today, you're not allowed to feel sorry for yourself." I am still friends with that person of course. But now, I have a friend who is sad with me. And her supportiveness is making me sad - but in a happy way, if that's possible. Anyway, I think I'll go do some cleaning- gosh, what has gotten in to me? Farewell, Sarah

The First Snowy Day!

Hmm, well things could be better, they could be worse. A little family crisis- a big family crisis. But things are mostly fine, excluding that. For some reason, school seems alot scarier than it used to. I'd rather not go, I may try to hide but nonetheless, I drag me and my uniform 5 days a week to the bus stop. Things shouldn't be depressing. I've got supportive friends who love me- don't worry friend love (lol) and, I hate to admit it, cool parents. Every thing is fine, every thing will be fine- gosh I sound weird! Anyway, I'll call it a night before I scare away my reader(s). hehe. Sarah. Oh, and yes, it has snowed for the first time today- I may be happy now but I know all that will come of this is cold weather, slush and flushots. Bye again.

La di da

I am once again forced into a group project with a male partner, that means, it is a project done by moi and only moi. Check out Breaking Benjamin, awesome band. I'm gonna go, someone isn't patient enough to wait for me to finish and keeps nudging me (on msn) toodles!

Hmmm

Well, there hasn't really been a cause for writing much so I'll just fill you in now: I have a school Halloween dance and we're supposed to be in costume all day but to be honest, I am not looking forward to it as much as i should. Hmmm

Tick tock

Sorry for not writing in 18 days. Um to fill you in on things: read Twilight by Stephanie Meyer please, please do! I've never been this sucked into a novel since I read Anne Rice's Pandora. Um I just discovered Radiohead-they're awesome and (this is a hint directed towards Panic!At the Disco) don't try to modify it and make a cover of any one of their songs. When I arrived at school in September, I was still a little confused, it felt like I'd just jump back into vacation but no, it has taken me this long to realize that there is no break-time for a long time. Note To Self: don't take vacations for granted. (I'm just counting down until christmas and that doesn't seem to be very effective when it comes to enhancing my mood) anyway, i'll ttyl, sarah

Bonjourno

School has been pretty hectic so I'm sorry I couldn't write more before but I'll fill you in. I'm taking clarinet in music class this year (in school) which was actually harder than expected. There's all of this adjusting that has to be done with the reed and stuff. I was originally attracted to that instrument because of its numerous shiny keys and buttons. I take it back! Oh well. Things with Emma are gone, but there does seem to be a little drama going on with some of my other friends. Tata Sarah<3

9 Months To Go

It's hard to believe, but i'm almost a month into the school year. Everything is now fine, friends are back to normal, the guy I like likes me but I am feeling unusually melancholic. hmph. (a very confused) Sarah <3

Heyyy.

So, I have once again dragged myself off to another first day of school (which was also inconveniently my birthday) and heard the "Let this year be the best year the school has ever seen!" speech from the principal. Our new principal has decided to come down hard on those who bend the uniform rules and is doing other things to demostrate her villainous ways. Also everyone thinks I like this new guy from school and is asking if we're dating. Is it really this hard to make a new friend? I've got too short of an attention span to write more. Oh, and things with Emma and I have kinda cleared up, we just have some explaining to do to give the fight a permanent closure. Ttyl. Sarah (who is actually happy tomorrow's monday for some weird reason)

Waitta minute!

Back. Now I know why I came in the first place. Although it's not very important. Tori Amos. She's super talented but really weird. To tell you the truth, I only like one of her songs- and she didn't even write it, well, partially. It's a cover of Nirvana's, "Smells Like Teen Spirit". Also, I have finally started piano lessons and my teacher says that maybe I could be skipped to level three conservatory. Not only that but I have a theory exam in December so my other teacher wants me to do 40+ pages of theory work so I can start doing mock tests by the time I see her again (2 weeks). It's alotta work but I guess it's worth it. I mean, everyone (like me) will do anything to get into an art school....right....right??!!! See ya (again) Sarah

Hi

Hmmm. Hmmm. Well, almost nothing is new. I'm just here to complain. Why is this the last day of August??? Where has my summer gone?! Oh well, bed time. Sarah

Moo!

Well today, I milked a cow. I thought I was doing pretty well. But the cow kept knocking the pail over and standing with its foot in it so I got covered in milk. There's a first for everything! Nothing is new other than that so see ya! sarah

Muahaha

Well I played around with the customization and now my blog is a happy one (colour-wise). Yay...exclaimation mark, exclaimation mark, exclaimation mark, one. heehee :)

Lalalala

Hm. It's tough making decisions. I have 4 friends at the moment who all hate each other (or pretty close to) Friend 1 hates 2 and 3 but likes number 4. Friend 2 hates 1,3,4. Friend 3 hates 1 and 2 but likes 4. Friend 4 likes 1,3 but hates 2. It's sorta complicated planning a birthday party if they all refuse to go near each other. How do I keep my relationship with all o' them without offending the others' opinions? Tough one, tough one. School is gaining on me and I'm still only realizing that this is my vacation- or what's left of it. Oh, well, it happens every year. Sarah

Summer Time!--or what's left of it

Well, right now Nick is over, we've been playing Sorry and eating Chinese Food. And that's pretty much all that's happening. I went in a Rockland Family Night where it was pretty much like a concert. There were over three hundred people there. I did a song by Abba and one by Avril Lavigne (mamma mia, complicated). I feel like it was yesterday when I was just fresh outta school with two months to waste. But no, it's over in two weeks and I've only just started my partying. And I wish I could change my blog background to a different colour. I was in a bad mood when I created. Things with Emma are still pretty bad. But she doesn't wanna be my friend so at least she's happy. She actually asked to not bunk with me at the feildtrip (laronde) and that was before we split. What can I do? Not much, actually. Oh well, I'm feeling better about this than before. Toodles! xoxo sarah PS: check out Flyleaf-they're awesome!!!

eeek!

Gosh, even though I promised to never write about Emma again, I can't help it. I mean, I was doing some major cleaning in my room and found a note that was from her. It said "Emma says: Even though I don't know why I'm such a bad friend, I Love You Anyways." That was what ended our first fight (little did I know it was the beginning of a series) and I realized that when she said that I had been acting like a jerk because I was insecure and thought I was a bad friend to her and a bad person. I don't know how, but it turned into a totally accidental fight because I didn't want to say anything about how I felt and when I did, I exploded. Emma then said sorry, to make me feel better and she never did anything wrong. And I am very compelled to say sorry too. I mean, most of what I ''did'' was just rumors that people spread about me being mean and everything else was just mistaken as something offensive. I really want to say sorry to her but every one I talk to is telling me not to. I was reading through some old notes and other things of ours, like pictures of us and I realized how good of a friend she was. I mean, near the end, it was hard to tell becuase we kept getting into fights and had only a few days of peace in between. But before this year, we never fought we were tight. I really miss that. And if I try to plan on how to get that back I don't know if I'm just submitting to temptation or doing the right thing.oh, well, sarah - PEACE!

On the rock

I'm on the rock and literally (I'm in Newfoundland). On Saturday I went to a wedding and was forced to wear four inch heels. Apparently they're the comfiest four inch ones but to my it was torture. I'm too you anyway to be strapping torture devices on me feet so I"ll be free of them for a while- the sparkly red pumps I mean. The weather here is very unpredictable. On Wednesday I was forced to go on a trek of death. A 2km hike around Signal Hill. 2km doesn't seem to bad but try saying that while climbing up rocks and iddy biddy stairs in the blazing sun. I can't talk much seeing as I promised myself to no longer linger over...anyway nice talking to ya..tata...sarah

Bonjourno!

Greetings, to fill you in, I'm doing this "Broadway Marches On" thingy where there's a group of us who sing musical numbers. Today I just got scouted. It's a very interesting experience, now my long weekend is booked. Great, I think. Anyway, on Tuesday, I'm flying down to 'the rock' (aka: Newfoundland) to see a 4th cousin's wedding. So I am pretty busy. Unfortunatly, I have lost contact from the outside world. I haven't seen anyone of my friends or heard from them. I think that they may have forgotten me:( Oh well, they'll pull through- hint hint Nick!!! This day last year, I would be reflecting on the day's grad party! Gosh, it was so much fun! I have pictures of everyone posing. And last year, we'd do this thing called Top 5 where we'd give a list of the top 5 people we'd go out with. To avoid embarassment (my mom walking in when someone'd be being teased about someone they like) we'd yell "orange juice!" and if my mother did come down, I'd act like a blundering, loud idiot and talk about how orang juice was so great with toast. (We used OJ as a codeword to signify and unwanted intruder coming downstairs) Enough reminiscing, you probably don't know what I'm talking about. TA!

Him

Yay, I found him. You know, the him. The one I have been waiting for. Unfortunatley, I face some difficulties with ever talking to him again. We met at a little pool-party thingy (a family pool party, I should add) and I dunno, I just left and started falling madly in crush as soon as I started to drive away. Why didn't I ask him for his MSN? I mean we were on the subject, I could have casually just asked or given mine. Aw, shucks. I can't throw a BBQ party to invite him. I now face an eternity of minor depression and forbidden love until I meet the new kid next school year- that is if the new kid is a he with a charming personality. Oh, well. I bid a melancholic farewell. Sarah

Ha!

Ok, so this fight that Emma and I have got ourselves in has deeper roots than I suspected. I always thought she'd be my BBF but apparently for the last couple months, she has been trying to find a way out. Her plan was to drift, but oh well, it's better to pull the bandaid off fast and painfully than drag out the agony. She thinks that I've started all of these rumors and lies which is why my title for this post is 'ha!' because I wouldn't do that. If I wanted to be her friend sometime in the future, I wouldn't purposly ruin the chances. She's playing both sides here, she thinks I've done all the things I haven't and then lashes back at them and I'm just stuck saying, 'ok, uh...'. For example, apparently I've gone on a swearing and name calling spree, which I haven't and my date doctor (who probably wishes to reamain annonymous since I just called him that) had to comfort her. And Apparently I told Nick she didn't wanna be his friend anymore when really he just wanted to know why they don't talk much anymore and she jumped to conlclusions. She thinks 'we' decided to have a 'break', she did all the talking and I was left saying 'wait a minute'. I'm trying to not stoop any lower here, but that obviously isn't what she wants because she only listens to rumors about me starting rumors. And she said I couldn't take this well...this is hereby the last entry I will willingly write on the subject. I went to La Ronde. I got sunburn and school ends in 4 days- yay. Ttyl.

Hi. Well, usually, little fights end in 1-3 days. It has been a week and how much since the last entry? I'm guessing that this little 'spat' has no intentions of ending anytime soons which sucks because if it lasts until summer it'll only be intensified. That means no bff at my birthday, no fun trips to the beach, and a potentially awkward feild trip due to the fact that we might be rooming together? I just don't get it. I can't see why someone would just want to believe excuses when they're not even true. Why someone would make them up. I mean, I have alot of friends who are there for me, but most of them are guys, and I just can't talk to them like I can with a girl friend. What I also don't get it how can you "pity" someone and show empathy, yet "shun" them at the same time? What I also don't get is how so many people think I have "a worthless life"- I don't quite know how that works or what makes it worthless but it does. And obviously, according to a little birdie, a life of gossip and cliques is (worthful, I mean). That same little birdie however has been no help lately, his recent questions include "so, how hard is it for you making the transition form popular with popular friends to being unpopular?" and "by leaving you, your friend has literally blown in for you, hasn't she? she's blown everything for you?" those little balls of delightment didn't necessairily put me in a great mood. I will be popular (not that popularity matters) and I will learn how to look casual and dance at the SAME time at the school dances (long story, to summarize it, I just can't dance) tata tata tata! Sarah

Bite it, bite it hard

Biting my tongue is something I have tried to do. But when you say nothing, your friend is bound to say things for you. I wasn't saying anything all class to avoid conflict because let's just say my best friend and I argue over a certain thing really easily. But, my friend went on and it looked like my bff and other friend were about to kill him, in fact, Jess' words were "*****, you just don't know when to shut up, do you?" so I decided to talk to him in the corner and told him, "*****, no matter how stupid their decisions may seem to you, bite your tongue and if yuo have any anti-vegetarian comments just tell me." unfotrunately my friend didn't think I was trying to shut up. ***** didn't listen very well because 10 minutes before the end it looked like my gal friends were ready to bite his head off. Great. That was all I was thinking. Oh, great now I'll have to pick sides. So I wrote shut up to ***** once on the paper to well, shut him up. But he didn't listen and then it was actually a fight or so I thought. I was pretty cranky and all and I wasn't happy that they were fighting so I started writing "screw you" on a piece of paper, I donno why, I just wasn't writing it at anyone in particular. Then my friend started rubbing it in Emma's face so she thought it was a pleasant little greeting card from moi. Apparently it was all a joke, so of course I was not happy, I could've easily avoided that stress so I 'haha'ed and left to get math help. When I came back I still shut up to avoid saying anything that would make a jerk outta me. Now though, I've apparently talked behind my best friend's back, I ruubed my note in her face and then I left and when I came back I pretended nothing happened. Sheesh. I also told her I hated her hair, which I didn't actually, I was only trying to tell her that it looked fine no matter what she did with it and if it was too much of a hassle, then just let it go normal. Oh well, I'm not saying she's lying, I know that that is what she believes, she just is believing the wrong thing and in order to get her facts straight she needs to believe me.

procrastination 64, all repeats and hesitation...

hey, well, along with most people in Canada, i don't have an anxiety disorder but the feeling of impending doom is in the air. it's called procrastination. i happen to be a loyal procrastinator and am now up at 10 working on my projects. i would like to be asleep right now- really badly actually. so much work! i know you're saying 'smell the roses'! but unfortuneatly for me, my roses are in the living room not in my i'll-just-call-it-cluttered bedroom. i'd love to chit chat but maybe i'll do that later..(hehe, little procrastination joke thrown in there) ha, i'm so funny....

ps: check out my friend's blog: emmabear.digitalsemiosphere.org

Hi,
To introduce myself: Call me Sarah, I've been taking singing lessons for 2 years and this is my 4th for guitar. I'm due to be famous any minute because I write songs and intend on being so (famous, I mean). My favourite bands are: Evanescence, Korn, System of a Down, Flyleaf, Ot3p, Marilyn Manson, Rammstein, Dido (I know she doesn't really fit in with the rest of them but hey, I can recognize talent) Blue October (Please give them a try and DON"T listen to Hate Me, try some new songs), Seether, Trivium, JEFFERSON AIRPLAINE and the occasional Boy Sets Fire and Deftones. I'm going to audition for an arts school next February so me and my best friend, Emma, can start our musical careers. I do get the occasional teenage angst and mood-swings. I'm pretty stable; I've been leader of the Pessimists' Club for about a year now. So just take a few minutes every few days to see what's new in the life of yours tuly, moi! ta ta for now!